Stop Horn Please

I have trouble adjusting to how loud it can get in India. The first rule for driving in America is to fasten your seat belt, where the first rule in India is to locate the horn. I'm not exaggerating to say everyone drives with one hand on the horn and one on the gear shift (not many automatic transmissions in India).

The rules of sounding your horn:
When you pass a vehicle, honk your horn.
When a vehicle passes you, honk your horn.
When someone is walking down the road, honk your horn.
When going through an intersection, honk your horn.
If there is an animal on the road (there almost always is), honk your horn.
When a song you like comes on the radio, honk your horn (just kidding, there is no radio).

This may seem completely ridiculous when written down, but it's a system that seems to work... a very loud system. However, you do tend to drown out the noise after a while. The other day I was stopped at the world's longest stop light (the Hi-Tech City crossroads), when a good friend of mine was crossing the street. He walked directly in front of my car; I rolled down the window and yelled his name. My voice was lost in the sounds of traffic, so I honked the horn... he kept walking, not realizing the honk was a friendly hello meant for him.

In case you forget to blow your horn most of the 'tuk tuks' and lorries have reminders to do so written on the backs of their vehicles. They also request you to stop short and not run into them. The painted script reads, "Horn Please", and "Stop". I like to read it as "Stop Horn Please".

As you drive along the busy, crowded streets of Hyderabad you will hear a symphony of different tones and sounds of every kind of horn imaginable. There is the beep beep of the numerous motorcycles, the squeeze honk of the auto rickshaws, the honk honk of the cars and SUV's and the blasts from the lorries and busses. Add the shrill constant tweet of the police whistle and the vroom, put put, rrrrrrrr, of the vehicle engines and your traffic orchestra is complete.

This constant noise pollution, while maddening, has become a comfort to the people who have grown up here. A prime example are the security guards who patrol the apartment complexes and gated communities. They are issued a whistle and bamboo stick as part of their uniform. They are expected to blow their whistles outside of our homes and whack the stick on the road throughout the night to prove that they are awake and on duty. (It's also supposed to scare off would-be burglars and wild dogs.) Could you imagine paying someone to make noise outside of your home all night long? I can identify with Alice's Wonderland experience.